BABY MAMAS MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR GOOD FATHERS
Men all over the country get a bad rap for not spending enough time with their children. I am not speaking about men who are married with children or those brothers who are just dead beat dads, but those who truly have interest in their children’s’ lives.
As a man, I truly believe that you should do all that you can to keep your family unit together but at what point does it become detrimental to the child?
When I was married and contemplating divorce, I under estimated the importance of keeping the family unit together. The juggling of the children I think is a disservice to the kids. Although my ex – wife is an ass, I do all that I can to maintain a good relationship with her for the sake of the kids, but it is hard.
I have a partner who has a 2-year-old daughter with a woman who was conceived in an irresponsible moment of passion. He thought that this was the women he would spend the rest of his life with but soon learned that she wasn’t the one. She is now a straight up bitch because he has moved on. He was with her all during her pregnancy and shortly after this daughter was born but her and her mother made it difficult for them to co-exist. He now sees his daughter every couple of months although they live in the same city. He says it’s just easier to wait until she is older so that he can just communicate with her directly and limit the interaction with the mom. I don’t know how I feel about that.
I understand his reasoning but is it fair to the child?
What about those children who are conceived in adulterous relationships or those kids who are a result of a one night stand?
How do you propose men deal with bitchy baby mamas?
The Rebirth 
May 25, 2010 at 2:27 pm
First I would tell the man to look at himself. There are no baby mamas without baby daddies. I know he is your friend, but there are two sides to every story. Everything can’t be just the woman’s fault.
I don’t know what children from adulterous relationships and one night stands have to do with bitchy baby mamas unless the man was somehow deceitful and caused her to be bitchy.
Really???? I agree that as men we need to look at ourselves and determine if we are at fault but as women look at yourselves at see if you are the problem.
Judging by your reaction you might be the type of woman that I am talking about. My grandfather always said “A hit dog will holla”
May 26, 2010 at 8:56 am
Judging by my reaction? Because I had an opinion different from yours? That makes me bitchy? You really have issues with women don’t you.
Issues with women … Hardly!!!! Issues with certain types of women yes.
But know that I appreciate your opinion and the perspective that you give.
November 10, 2010 at 1:05 pm
I agree with you brotha we dont have a problem with all women its just a certain type of woman. There are a lot of you women out there. I had a baby by this woman who i though would be the one i would Spend the rest of my life with, but when she got preggers, Everything changed. She turned into a straight up bitch. she doesnt want to get back with me, but she also doesnt want me to be in my first and only sons life. EVIL EVIL thats all i can say. She’s 33 and im 29. She blames her actions on her being preggers but Im like that doesnt sound right. Just because your preggers you dont wanna be with me anymore. Thats crazy
February 6, 2012 at 7:30 am
Dude, this was the woman that you thought would spend the rest of your life with and when she got preg she turned on you???? I would be taking a dna test asap, that does not sound right at all.
July 23, 2015 at 3:49 pm
No because you automatically defended the woman. It right there are two sides to every story. Here it is… There are shifty dads in the world but… There are also shitty moms in the world. Woman are also more emotional and tend to make more rash decisions based on that.
December 31, 2013 at 11:09 am
My husband had a one night stand many years back with some chick and to this day he pays Child Support, always has and tries to see the child but the BM is a DRUNKEN MESS! She refuses to let any peace happen between the kids and my husband. She always makes everything about her and is constantly making up false reasons as to why she is the victim and since he is with me, he cannot see the kids. ITS CRAZZZYYYY!!!!!!
May 25, 2010 at 2:53 pm
I agree with Baby Mama when she stated it shouldn’t matter how the child was brought here.
What matters is what happens after the baby is here. Life happens and sometimes things we don’t plan to happen…happens. Apparently, some people aren’t mature enough to see the bigger picture.
I know I’m young but I’m know that the childs need should come before anyone esles.
From personal experience I try to explain that to my daughter’s father. But he worries about what he now…wife feels or says.
I could careless about them…my priority is my daughtetr and what she needs.
A lot of people need to understand they their childs needs should me priority…
I hope that helps.
I agree whole heartedly, the child is the innocent victim in this situation. I think women sometimes complain that the man is not stepping up and seeing the child like he should but is the women making the situation dicey by her attitude.
As a parent, I have endured a lot from my ex but I am determined to always be ther in spite of the mom’s behavior.
January 8, 2014 at 8:47 am
My baby mama up and left one day after an argument, and moved back to Atlanta with her parents I live in Jacksonville Florida. She took my two year old daughter with her. I never knew it would hurt so bad not to see my daughter, she was my motivation my peace. They lived with me since i first found at my bm was pregnant which in all about 3 years.
To add insult to my sever injury 3 months after she moved she met another man (white man) and moved to Agusta GA with him, I told her not to I didnt want my little girl around someone I didnt no but she said she Knew what she was doing. The guy had a son who was the same age as my daughter 2 years old. And referred to him as dad of course my daughter picked up on it and started calling the man dad.That hurt me so bad because she had never called me dad.
Well he ended up kicking them out after three months and right before he did, I knew something was up because she kept calling me. Saying she was having dreams about me and she missed me and then I found out they were having issues, know she back in Atlanta. Got her on place (which is great) and she says put all the stuff she was saying about us working things out on hold. This has drained me and I worry my little girl wan no me any more I miss her so much.
May 25, 2010 at 3:40 pm
How do you propose men deal with bitchy baby mamas?
Uh…don’t become one perhaps? Use a condom. It’s really THAT simple!
And it’s true, you can’t have a baby mama…without a baby daddy. You can’t control her, but you can control you. Encourage these “partners” of yours to keep it wrapped til the vows are exchanged. Women who are your wife, can’t be your “baby mama.”
(And no, I have no kids)
My brother you are 100% right. We as men play a part in the equation. We can not control them but we can control ourselves. Excellent advice.
May 26, 2010 at 8:43 am
Thanks for the compliment…but I am a “sister.” Glad I got permission to speak…. 😕
Wow…I love your perspective.
May 16, 2014 at 4:04 pm
wives act double retarded. then they steal all you have
February 6, 2018 at 12:44 pm
My baby mom is my exwife.she is just as difficult.
This bm vs wife bs don’t add up.
Ignorance after a breakup is ignorance after a breakup.
You gotta seek counseling. These women whether bm or x wife are winning in the courtroom and by in large blaming men for the climates they create.
She btw could also enforce he put a condom on.
May 25, 2010 at 6:34 pm
Seriously dude? 😐
What do you mean “Seriously dude”? Unless you are a man who has dealt with baby mama drama then you can’t speak. This right here is Real Talk from a male perspective.
I think it’s unfair that good men get a bad rap when the “baby mama” plays a part in this as well.
May 25, 2010 at 9:06 pm
So are YOU a man who has dealt with baby mama drama? If not, why are you speaking? The poster “Reality Bites” above has no children, yet you gave them a pass.
And you really need to come off this whole “you can’t speak if you don’t have first hand experience”…this is a blog where you SOLICITED opinons. If you don’t want feedback, don’t ask for it or disable the comments.
“Good men” need to start by accepting their responsibity for their own situations. Funny how she’s just cast of as a “baby mama” and he “a good man” when really he’s just a “baby daddy” too.
Enlightening CaliSlim as usual … You keep me on my toes. lol
May 26, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Glad you are good sport about it. I love debate. 😳
August 12, 2016 at 3:40 pm
I don’t disrespect my son’s mother by labeling her as my baby’s mama I don’t like the terminology so I when address her in conversation I will say ” my Son’s mother or mother of my child.” It implies she is not a foreign entity but how ever she chooses to discribe me in her conversations with others don’t concern me one bit. Yes I am a 42 year old brother who created a child outside of my marriage. My wife and I reconciled and remained together and I provide for my son like clockwork in spite the fact I reside in a different state and his mother resist me meeting our two year old because I chose to remain in my marriage.
May 26, 2010 at 9:14 am
I understand what you are saying and only wish more can be done to mend the relationships, for the sake of the children. However, I do have to be honest, I have noticed in the majority of your blogs, you at times constantly berate your ex-wife and the Mother of your children. I think you should at least refrain from making disparaging comments, towards her as she is not here to defend herself.
Defend herself ? This is my blog and my opportunity to express my views and opinions. The blog world has no clue as to what I have endured as man for the sake of my children. So quite honestly I have done well with the few words that I have given on this blog.
So until you have walked a moment in my shoes …
May 26, 2010 at 11:24 am
Cool, but ususally when people move on from a situation, they don’t speak of it anymore. How many times will you keep using your ex wife as an example?
BTW, I still enjoy your topics, but had to speak on it.
The name of the blog is “The Rebirth” you have to understand where I have come from in order to understand where I am going. It is purposely a process.
May 26, 2010 at 11:35 am
I agree with Dellab. You tend to berate your ex-wife often in your blogs. Is that the only experience with a women that you’ve had in your past? You speak very little of her character which only tells me that you couldn’t have much character yourself because you chose her.
Dear Clueless : Your name has officially been changed because that what you are. You know nothing about me or my character. You do have one thing correct I chose her and that was my mistake but that’s what people do we make mistakes and learn from them.
As it relates to my past history with women pull my card … it speaks for itself.
May 29, 2013 at 9:43 pm
Everyone lacks but whoa I hope the person who made this website has learned over the years, it clearly shows you made this website to help others that’s great but you gota help yourself first, people let you know the deal over and over again, your replies made them correct about everything, l said a hit dog will holla lol practice what you preach, you always heard it from your fam for a reason haha geesh, just hope you’ve learned from all this honestly take care of your child! From a Father, not many of us left
May 29, 2013 at 9:45 pm
Your clueless learn from your mistakes people tryin to help you lol
May 29, 2013 at 9:46 pm
Your character Definatly shows!!
August 23, 2010 at 6:19 am
well im a babymama i met my baby daddy at 14years old n his family never liked me n by them not liking me they dont deal with my 3year old daughter they call her bitchs n everything cause they dont like me.im 19 n im about to have another baby by him n him or his family still wont come around n come to find out he has 2 other babymamas after me im his 2nd babymama i gave him his first daughter n him n his family treat me n my baby like shit
December 1, 2017 at 6:50 pm
Girl, First of, Please use English, It was a struggle to read your comment. second, Usually when someone family members don’t like you chances are you either A. rub them the wrong way when you first meet them of B. he has told them something you did that cause them to like you. but my question is, why would you continue to have a baby by a man that had a baby mama before you AND two after you? clearly a baby don’t keep a man so why you selling yourself short? you 19 with 2 kids, SLOW DOWN!
November 10, 2010 at 1:09 pm
I have another baby momma and she’s cool as hell the best baby momma ever. And she’s married and im not hittin it. she has acted up a little in the past but it was for a shor time. I can get my daughter anytime i want and im not on child support. and she invites me over to eat with her and her husband im cool with him too. But this new baby momma that i have im soo scared.
March 8, 2013 at 9:56 pm
Honeatly this is why I strive to have only one babymomma..even tho we seperated for 2 ys and durring that time I subconsciously changed for her and she ended up geting prego by someone elts…im honestly lucky she wants no part of of his life and ran to me about it…even tho she claims she hatez my guts but still gos out her way to see my daughter… with her keeping the biological father out the picture this enables me to test my love ,manliness , and dedication to her by raising this kid as my blood….but I am confused guys…check it….she met me…loved me and I wanted to get her prego because I know for a fact she the one…but….I ended up catching a addiction to crystal meth…so then she lied and said she gonna abort it and we seperated for a month and I beleived her…well I did some lightwaight stalker stuff and found her and she had a belly she gave me another chance…but sience I was stiill on meth … I did more then neglect and abuse her..she gave me countless chances and as every adict we say we quit but lie to them and myself…so she left when I had to do to do time for this lil violation…when I got out she was goast and I did somemore stalker status stuff and found her at hospital withanother guy…I was devistated…I backslid but bounc3d back just to backslide again…then I found alil structure playing house with a girl who had 3 kids and three babydaddys….she used to and I noticed the kids let alone myself get neglected…I soon wnt back to jail and got oot and stayed clean eversienc but I missed thoes kids so I went back risking my addiction…but I didnt use…then my babymomma comes in my life and out of respect I left her and put full atfenfion on bm and baby…but bm still hate me but I work thru it because u dont relize what u have untill its gone and I did…so I do anything for family…then…surprise…she prego…and not mine….she ended up replaying same exact sinerio..found dude..loved him…he did drugs …she left him…reunited with me…and we are willing to work this out…so..I want to raise both of these because I love all k8ds expecially if its by the woman I know is for me…but if we tell biological father tgen if hes off that shit then. . Ewww…shit can get hectic….but I was in his shoes and I would need to know…but at the same tim3 it could confuse and accedently neglect the kid let alobe confuse him…and for u ladiez out there…if i changed and she see I change and ontop of that im willing to take this child as myown because not only is my love real for her…but im striving to live out my dream regardles if biological or not…to have a family…and I hella love kids…all that keeps me motivated to do right instead of wrong…kids keep ke away from the ghetto nightlife and introduce me to the morning park bond/raise life..but should he know or would it be best for later when everyone child and father understand…and is it still ok for my babymomma to still be mean…honeatly its ok becaus3 she prego…but what if she continues acting like this forever…shes a very beautiful, responsible, classy woman…but she can hold a sirious grudge…and one more thing…whats yall oppinion on putting on birthcirtificat fatger unknown on biological child just to get child suport wit biological father and mother still togeather…its to help financial problems….mind you…im extreemly motivated, loving, verybrandnew father whos biological father died befor I was born but was raised by my real dad who wasnt biological but consuderd blood..and he raised me and just recently died….erbz….
May 22, 2011 at 9:51 pm
I agree with you homie! My ex felt as though the fact that we had a child that i was bound to deal and be with her for life. She was def bitchy during the preggers, which made me think that that was brought on by the stresses of the pregnancy. Nothing I ever did was right. Everything was wrong. She even used to tell her family she paid all the bills and she didnt have a job/ she was in school. Yet I had a good job as an accountant, and I paid nothing. EVIL!! Bu once our son was born I thought that that behavior would change. I was there for everything, doctors visits to even going to buy tampons for her, lol. But the fact of the matter is that she felt I was going to deal with her because we were married and had a child….I warned her several times that at some point I was gonna get tired and leave the relationship…Not too long after she became abusive and that was the end of that marriage and relationship. I left and now I’m left with visitation every other weekend and even with that she is difficult. Makes it difficult for me to see my son. She is filling my 6 year old with untruthful negative information about me saying that I don’t care about him. In her mind is if she cant be with me then I cant be with my son. A total head case. But my man I totally agree with there are those women who are just head cases. I pay child support of about 1G a month and yet she complains that I dont take care of my responsibilities.
September 7, 2011 at 12:58 pm
OK, I would like to say as a wife and mother of a good man .
My husband had his first child at the age 15, with a young lady that he told he did not want to have the baby. Yes it was her choice to have the baby anyway making the baby her choice and his mistake… Now I know alot of women will be mad at what I just said , but we as women make the choice to have or …keep the kid even after knowing that the man does not want the kid. Neither side planed for it. Now yes I would say make sure you use protection or at least think about what happens if you don’t.
In addition to this… like I said I’m the wife of a good man who takes care of his kids the one before we married and the one we share together. It’s seems the nicer I am to this woman the meaner she is to me. Out of respect for her/my husband child I bite my tounge but honestly WHAT the hell is wrong with this woman.
October 21, 2013 at 3:46 am
That\s exactly what is going on with me. I found this site because I’m searching up how to deal with a horrible ex. The nicer I am to her, the meaner she is to me. I’m getting to a point where I just want to throw in the towel and walk away…. but then I’m walking away from a great man. But I’m tired of being accused of odd things, bothered for money, treated like I do not understand since I do not share children with him or haven’t been dating him for as long as she had. Where the heck to these women come from… and why? The children are being hurt the most.
September 19, 2011 at 7:19 am
It’s really nice to find a site like this one seeing as though I’m faced with “dealing with a baby-momma”
I’m honestly torn! I am a 29 year old woman “without children”… I’ve always held on to having “my own” family with “my husband”. Life would have it that I meet a wonderful man that happens to be a awesome father. Initially I was very aprehensive. A man with a kid/ kids would “normally” get no play! He made like all was cool between himself & “the baby momma!” — their child is almos 6 and they havent been together since the kid was about 2 months old! She was cool for 4 years! But in all this time “the venomous baby momma” has never been faced with him being in a relationship!!! ***and Now here’s “me”! And disaster is among us… I can’t stand her old self!!!!!! Which causes me to be torn! I have made sure not to create baggage for myself or my potential husband & now that I’m in love with a good guy I’ve got to accept his??? Some days I’m okay & others I want to chunk the duces..
Question: “how the hell do I deal with this cunning/ messy baby momma!!?”
And all in all I feel bad for her son!! She feeds the baby dirt too. Damn shame!
January 28, 2013 at 6:33 pm
I am dealing with the same thing right now. I see that you posted this in 2011. How is the outcome now?!
October 21, 2013 at 3:49 am
I’m looking for answers too. I’m so terribly torn 😦
December 2, 2011 at 5:18 pm
Hello All,
Ok i’m 25 years old, have no children, and live with my current boyfriend who has a 5 year old daughter. He said he put himself on child support. She randomly askes for things the child needs. Isn’t that what the child support for? Her daughter has been around quite a few times and even to my own place that we didn’t share before we moved together. I heard he get mad at him on the phone while they were at my house but I didn’t say nothing and she kept saying bring my baby home. She’s not spending the night, etc. Well she did spend the night. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and still haven’t met his babymama. Neither him or her has made the initiative to get us both to meet or anything. One day the daughter was over our house and she told me when I’m over here you my mama. Well, I don’t like the idea of that because I don’t want to be apart of that child’s life like that. I understand that I’m suppose to be there because she’s my boyfriends daughter. But the baby mama seems to be immature and so does he. I’m sitting up in the house eating sandwiches and refrigerator on empty while she’s steady asking for money and he hardly ever go and get the baby. What should I do?
January 28, 2013 at 6:34 pm
I am dealing with the same thing right now. I see that you posted this in 2011. How is the outcome now?!
April 6, 2013 at 7:48 pm
I am going through the exact same thing. It’s horrible and frustration to watch someone be difficult for the sake of being difficult. My boyfriend wants to be so much more apart of his daughters life, but the baby mama makes it hard. She keeps asking for more money here and there too and it doesn’t make sense. Before the school year starts, she’ll ask him to go and get her a backpack and some clothes. What about the child support you get? Isn’t that what it’s for? Recently she asked for an increase because the little girl needed tutoring and she can’t only afford so much and blah blah blah. Right after receiving the money, she gets an iphone5. What the hell? Neither he nor I have that. She made easter a nightmare because we couldn’t have her overnight and she gets the kids (she has multiple kids, all by different guys) easter morning. When it’s time to the little girl up, we had to wait for the mom to get home because she was getting home from work. What happened to having easter morning? There’s always two sides to every story and there’s always those people who ruin it for everyone else. While my boyfriend tries to be a good father, he can only take so much and he knows if he pushes a point or anything, he won’t see his kid for months. It’s happened before. I know there are those dead beat dads out there and he’s not one of them. Just like I’m sure there are reasonable and understanding baby mamas out there that try to include the fathers and work to co parent. She’s not one of them. She got with him when she was in her mid 20’s and he was barely an adult and cut out his family and friends. Once she had his baby, it was all over, and he was crushed having to rebuild everything. Children shouldn’t be treated like the prize in a power struggle. Fact is, it takes two to tangle and whether or not you like the person you ended up having a baby with, that person will always be that childs father or mother. He hates her and has tried to push me to be the mother figure, and I’m not. That’s not my place. That woman is a horrible bitch and a terrible mother, but she is still her mother. I can’t replace that, it’s not my place to and quite frankly I don’t want to. I can just be a strong female role in her life. It’s unfortunate that situations like this are more the norm then the exception. I wish we could work with her and just all be on the same page for what’s best for his child. It’s getting to the point where he can’t wait until the childs old enough and he can just contact her directly. That’s so sad.
December 2, 2011 at 5:20 pm
I don’t want to be apart of that childs life like that because the daddy hardly ever has her and the momma haven’t even tried to meet me and I don’t like people’s kids around me in which I don’t know anything about they’re mamas. Too much is happening these days and these kids lie just like the parents…
February 23, 2012 at 2:45 am
ex girlfriend and i planned to have a baby, buy a house, get married, be a family. i thought she was in love and wanted a committment, like i did. wrong. she wanted a baby. she broke up with me while pregnant, shut me and my family off from most pregnancy related things. let me sit in on the pregnancy but had her rules about it. filed child support a week later. gets at least $14,000 a year in support between the state, tax credits, food stamps, and my support, for which i pay $600 a month. lives for free at home. in one sense im happy she gets all of that support to make the tough job of being a mom easier. but when it comes to buying anything for our baby, i’m on my own, as she states that the money i pay is hers, that its the money shes entitled to. shes vicious when it comes to the dollar and thinks that being a real man means not talking about money just spending it. but forget about money. im happy to pay what it takes to give my little girl a good life. the worst part is the treatment she gives me. i was nothing but loving and nice to her during our relationship and even now. i try to look at it as a happy mom means a happy baby. but she seems to be nice to anyone but me. the other day she said that she wished that i was a deadbeat dad so that i wouldnt be in my daughters life. we set up custody in court and i gave her her way on most things. she complains that i dont see my daughter enough but i have her for 8 hours on the weekend and im over at her place at least 2-3 times a week. but then she wont let me stay late or put her to sleep or have overnights until 1 year, but she calls me out for not seeing her enough? when im over there shell be mean and bitchy but i endure it to see my baby. im a good person, come form a good family, and so many people have said that my baby is happy to have a father like me. but for some reason all her and her family is talk negative about me. theres so much wrong in the world and so many true scumbags and deadbeats out there it baffles me why they dont find someone else to hate. shes trying so hard to be the ‘perfect’ mom. i even tell her that shes a good mom all of the time despite her constant insults and criticism of me. but im starting to see that she cares less about being a good mom than ‘appearing to be’ a good mom. a good person would try to build a strong family for their child. she seems to enjoy ripping our relationship apart for what?. to appear to be a ‘strong single mom struggling’ its bs…i never left her or my daughter. it breaks my and my family’s heart. but the ex only cares about herself and her family. if she cared more about her child, she would include her childs father in that caring equation. im afraid that one day she may go crazy and take it to the extremes, by calling the police on me for some false accusation. it sounds crazy and paranoid even saying it but ive learned that her bark is becoming as bad as her bite over the past year. she shoudl have picked someone who didnt care about people as her baby daddy. i know i have a beautiful healthy daughter but my ex is ruining my life. 😦
June 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Damn man, that’s some horrible shit. The few guys that try to be good dads are the ones being shitted on. I am an asshole but I’m trying not to be. But it almost seems like I gotta go back to the old me just to deal with her. Man we need therapy lol cuz this is bs. Dump on the dads that don’t care…
April 6, 2013 at 7:54 pm
That is exactly how my boyfriends baby mama treats him. It’s horrible. I know him before he ever got with her so I know he absolutely doesn’t deserve the treatment she gives him and the image she portrays of him to other people. I feel for you. He also just goes along with whatever so that he can’t see his daughter. The only time we get her overnight is when she needs a babysitter for an extended period because she’s going out of town with her boyfriend. He’s not a babysitter, he’s her father, ti shouldn’t be like that, but he puts up with it since it means spending time with his little girl. Good men like you don’t deserve it and I wish sometimes that bitches of baby mamas could have something come back to them for just being horrible.
March 16, 2012 at 10:07 pm
Pretty Baby!…
[…]BABY MAMAS MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR GOOD FATHERS « The Rebirth[…]…
April 4, 2012 at 10:47 pm
Im dealing with a women that claims that everything we went through is my fault. I acknowledge my flWs and move past them i ask god to forgive and move forward i dont dwell on the things ive done wrong i focus on what im doing right but she constantly reminds me of the stuff from the past. She seems to be comfortable living there in the past. She complains about bills but doesnt pay a single one complains about money but dont contribute to the funds or makes any effort to lessen the blow. I pay for her school edu our bills and and just brought a new car and yet she still complains or find reasons to fight. Alot of women blame us for all the faults that happen and claim they are ms independant but fail to admit to that theres a baby father that funds the so called new independance. The point is we as good men no matter how much we love these women fannot let them take us from our kids do what u have to do to seperate yourself from unhealthy lifestyles for your kid sake be a parent and do what you can legally to get as much time to take of your child and be happy. I promise being stuck in a relationshio because you have a child together is the worst.
April 4, 2012 at 10:54 pm
Some of words are mispelled because of phone text so in case a women comes to point that out im aware of that. Understand im not bashing women but def feel like some women take effort for change for granted. And some use kids as a ploy to get things they want. when a relationship turn bad. If you love your spouse do what it takes to fix it if not move forward
April 10, 2012 at 7:36 am
im 30.. met my gf about a year ago…
she fell pregnnt and if im honest i never wanted it. and told her
wrong i know but its how i felt.. now she told me shes keeping it..
i wasnt happy and was quite upset for a few months but the moment i held that little boy in my arms my world changed
i loved him and knew i had to do anything i can to make this work.
but it was not a happy time..
soon after the baby was born we began to argue
over his name… her tellin me i never wanted him etc…
she even hacked into my emails and facebook and saw messages id sent about her.
now she then went and registered the baby and didnt put me on the birth certificate.
also gave him a name i didnt like…
so i guess i have myself to blame for all this?
if i hadnt been so against it from the start wud this be happening to me now?
ive cried myself to sleep everynight wondering how someone can be so mean…
all i can say is when it comes to babies choose the mother carefully.
cos there is no way out of this… no matter what i do ill be wrong…
ill always be blamd for not wanting him in the beginning…
now i have no home.. no baby and no gf..
thoughts of topping myself often come into my head
but the only thing that keeps me going is that little boys smile..
June 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Dude it’s hard, I know. I never knew how hard it was to be a father. Just hang in there. Teach your son the things you wanna teach him. Eventually he’s gonna grow up and see, his mom is a basketcase. Just like my baby mama…
June 10, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Trying to maintain a relationship with your child when the mother is totally unrational. It’s fucking hard. I’m trying to be a good dad and do what’s right but in the same breath it’s making it hard for my fiance to make peace with it. She has done nothing to be in this situation but in the end she’s getting dumped on because I’m just not knowing how to handle this. I try to rationally think out what’s best for my child and my fiance. My fiance is the best thing to ever happen to me besides my baby girl. I love her soo much but afraid she’s gonna leave me because of this. How do I keep her from stressing out over the bullshit I have to go thru. I don’t want her left out but I don’t want her to stress out either. So if I leave her out she will be mad, if I keep her in the loop,she will be mad. I don’t know what to do. I’m soo sick I’m actually throwing up blood and having blood come from somewhere else. I have been pissed off for 12 days straight. My head and stomach hurts soo much I can’t even think straight. I can’t find the balance because the baby mama is pregnant by another dude who wants nothing to do with her or their baby. So I get shitted on, my girl getting shitted on. No clue on how to fix this when the baby mama is an emotional wreck and everybody is suffering from it. But the only person who can walk away is my fiance….and I don’t want her to. She’s the one, always has been. I can’t lose her. Sometimes I’d just wish she would cuss and say fuck it, you deal with it, keep me out of it unless u plan on sending extra money. Which I’m not. Dunno what to do…
October 8, 2012 at 6:25 am
I moved to a small town and got to know a few neighbors, I met a nice older lady with a young child she said it was her neices son, she said we ought to meet, so we did , my mother didn’t like her but we talked anyways come to find out after I fell in love with her she was loosing her two kids, for thinking about trying drown them, I went to counceling with her and parenting classes and so on, because I wanted to see her get her kids back, but she didn’t, we continued seeing each other, I showed her how to survive starting from rock bottom unpurpose salvation army all the way on up to purchacing a new home and new car, during that time period we had two children, one I think isn’t mine but I treated her like my own anyways, she still has mental issues but I had became used to it bipolar,and,multiple personality disorder… she was on disability for about 5 years and somehow she wanted to work and would get fired, they did evaluation she was supposed to be on meds but wasn’t taking them so they cut her disability off, she hasn’t been the tidyist person, but it got worse and her attitude and behavior became worse,so it drove me to taking prescription meds just to cope,eventually they didn’t help anymore she became combative so I would have to restrain her to keep her from hurting herself, she tried to commit suicide, I felt over my head but even though she was sick in my eyes I loved her,things were better for a few months and bam out of nowhere another episode, I didn’t like having to restrain her from hurting herself or our kids ,so I upped my intake on more prescription drugs because she wouldn’t get help,I couldn’t do an involintery commitment I wasn’t married to her. It got to the point where we slept in diffrent bedrooms I stayed mainly for our children and I didn’t want her to go off the deep end and suceed in suicide, by leaving her and taking kids , so after 14 years together she has become a liar she would not answer her cell that I payed for she would turn it off she would stay gone all hours of night, and threaten me with taking kids away from me,I tried to keep an open mind and not accusate but I was upset, I get temporary laid off after 3 weeks of waiting and no income she said if you don’t go to work next week I’m leaving you,so I call my employer and they say not yet we will have work soon,so I break the news to her, she storms off to her room,the next morning I get a note on the floor, she stated she had gone to the hospital with both kids at 1pm I woke up at 11am and she wwas gone,the note said she would get back at three,which wasn’t true neither I tried calling were my children hurt no answer then the phone ignore then off,soshe gets back about 5:30 kids are fine but I’m pissed she couldn’t call she even drove a half of a tank of gas out, I went off we argued she threw things I went to car sat in it to cool off it was my car I was paying for it, it was in her name with no income from her to pay payments,I locked doors and put headphones on so I wouldn’t hear her beating on windows of car, finally she stopped she went inside house,I’m like finally peice n quiet next thing I know I see county police pulling in driveway, I walk inside and ask her did she call tje police she stated yeah I said what for she said you’ll see .so I walk out to the police outside hollering in my door, and sit down and talk to them they said that she called and said I hit her and choked her,now I’m a 6’5″ dude 250lbs if I would have done what she said shed still be in the hospital, she had no marks so they arrest me on her word and book me for resisting arrest for walking in my own house before they even got out of there cars,I do my time get out there’s a restraining order against me where she lied and said I was a danger to my kids ! Everyone who knows me knows better,anyways we go to court she drops restraining order, and wants to split up temporary and just date each other, I didn’t like that idea soi told her either in or out not in the middle she chose the I don’t know card while I’m staying at a close friends house she takes all valuables all,none which she has paid for community property,bullshit I say but I let it gothe house was in a wreck muddy boot tracks everywhere! I get the place cleaned up 5 solid days of non stop cleaning,she dissapears with kids two weeks and I called the police they said I couldn’t do anything,so we go to court her step father paid for her an attorney I had no money yet from unemployment yet, so I represented myself like an idiot,I got raked over the coals,but I got the youngest child until she starts shcool then I get every other weekend,now we have to switch kids everyother weekend, meanwhile she talks about working things out, to string me along, I feel she is going to pull something shady like the shady stuff she is doing now like selling her step fathers xanaxs and pain pills, I wish whe best for her but at the same time I love my kids and I think I should have full custody of them ! She has been collecting foodstamps for both kids and herself and dosent have both kids and she dosent provide the child with her entitled foodstamps because she sells the stamps,I get so frusterated,I got hurt at work a minor injury I pulled a muscle in my buttocks, not 13 days later we get into a verbal agrument on how she is doing me and the child I have,she hits me with her car and messed my back and leg up mostly back,artho stenosis is what orthopedic specialist says,so I am away from her about 75miles we still talk not long periods of time she wants me to kiss her butt and she wants to control me and she wants me to move back closer to her for her and her families conveinence! I have insurance money coming in really soon not a lot, but a few bucks and I still have my job but I’ve been broke and haven’t been able to afford copays and all to see specialists, she wants to know my every move but if I ask her anything its none of my buisness, should I take my text messages about her selling pills from her stepfather,andrecordings of her telling the kids she hates them more than she’s ever hated anyone in her life, and otherrecordings of how she let a 10 yearold run away for over an hour and how she wanted me to disiplin the child in an impropper manner, to an attorney, and social services and get full custody of kids?and disapear and try to find someone who will better suit me and my children or try to work things out with my babys momma?
December 5, 2012 at 5:32 am
Ian relate to all points of view.
My parents divorced and both remarried to someone with kids.
Growing up around my mother all I herd was ur dad this ur dad that, he isn’t involved enough, on and on it went. My dad lived in another state and was a truck driver, we saw him two to three times a year. As a child with a nagging mother I started to believe my my mom.
Then the best day of a (good) dads life comes. when his child becomes an adult. ( nagging mothers are thinking child support) I am talking about something bigger then money ladies, the truth.
I got married to a man with children.
My husband and I lived in the same area as nagging mother, we were envolved in everything, sports, school functions etc. It started to seem like the more that was done the more that was expected.
Then things got real bad when nagging mother hears about our edition to the family. She moved two hours away to a big city, won’t let him see the kids without stipulations, now all the sudden I can’t pick them up.
Once I had our daughter my dad and I began to get close. One time when I was visiting, he took out this binder full of court documents and letters of what my mom did. I found out sbout dates my dad was going to come get us and she wouldnt answere his calls.
I saw how much money he was paying, evil letters on how she won’t let him see us. The whole time Im reading all I can hear is my mom nagging.
To all mothers, if you have a child by a man who is doing what he can appreciate him. just because he isn’t doing exactly what you expect doesn’t mean he isn’t doing what he should. One last thing ladies, the more you nag and threaten and do to get at your bby ddy the less he will want to do. Who wants to see your kids game and listen to your ex bash you infront of the other parents.
Now for the fellas, assuming you all are good dads, do not let a nagging woman get in between your kids. You have rights to, if you are the dad you portray, get visitation rights and visit your kids.
January 28, 2013 at 6:46 pm
I have a very similar story. I am the the new girlfriend that is dealing with the nagging baby mother. My boyfriend is trying his hardest but all she does is nag about everything. Thank you for the advice. He needs to handle this in court and show the good father he is. 🙂
January 13, 2013 at 2:16 pm
I have a 6 year old daugther, been seperated for 5 and its been the hardest thing I have and going thru.
Its been hard because her mother is the type of person who fails to realize that all all her misfortunes is her own doing. For some reason, she is always the victim.
How do you work things out or try to have a healthy relationship with someone who has become ignorant, self centered, and unpreciative? Someone who thinks they way they do things is right and what they do or they don ‘t do is ok. I found it easier to just roll with the punches.
Am by far perfect but I have more common sense to to pick fights w her over dumb shit. I pick and choose my battles to minimize the arguing.
We both did our share to get us to where are now. Maybe I let work take the best of me instead of being with her more, but maybe her attitude pushed me to work more so would have an excuse to stay away from her and not argue.
Today is still the same argument, she’s always angry at me even tho am there as much as possible financially and physically, but she blames me for everthing. From her having to work so much to her not being able to be with our daughter.. It’s my fault because I won’t move in with her even tho we fight and argue over almost everything. I have tried different approaches on how to deal w her and it doesn’t seem to work.
For example, we have shared custody, but I have alwasy had our daughter more since am self employed and I make my own schedule. She started trade school three times and she quit half ways thru. Did I mentioned she is a quitter. There is an excuse to everything she doesn’t do, doesn’t finish, or why she quits. Even tho, there is people out there who have a lot more on their plate than she does. She decides to go back to school. I get a call and asks for my opinion, my first reaction is to get upset because she will only see our daugther a total of maybe an equivalent of one.day per week. She’s seems to be fine with that and says its for the best to better herself. I unhappily agree, her atitude gets worse and later I get blamed for her missing.so much time with our daughter.because we won’t live together since worm and school take up all her time. She goes as far as to yell at me and tell me I don’t want our daughter being with her and am happy to keep her all to my self….???????????. It’s so frustrating that she is so caught up being.the victim of her own stupid choices but everyone else gets blamed except the shitty mother that was never there during.her childhood. The worst part is all her dumb choice not only affect her, me but out little girl. I remember being mad for her not finishing her school and getting yelled at ” its my life and ill do want I want” As time has gone by she has become more selfish and ignorant.
I signed our daughter up for gymnastics and there was a huge fight because the clothes I bought her where one size to big. I am the sole provider of.our daughter, I pay for everything since her mother has no money to help because she can barely make bills. Yet, instead of a simple thank you for trying my best by getting into the class that she wanted and getting the things she needed, I get an attitude.. its things like this I deal with. Even tho I would.love to be with her and make it work so we could give our daughter a family am more worried about moving back in getting.my little girl used having together then having to leave. It is hard to be back and forth, its hard to.drop her off, specially when she doesn’t want to be with her.
A kid that young should think her mother is lazy and dirty because she Wakes up late and doesn’t clean. Monkey see monkey do.
It’s dificult when a person feels.they are owed something and try to get it by being unreasonble. It’s hard to want to helpful to someone who after time and time of doing so, shows no gratitude yet is so quick to start shit over small things. I never in myblife thought I would experience what I have experience, the anger, hate, hurt, bittersweet happiness, confusion, anxiety ect. Am sure we both have experiences this.
why do some women think just because they gave birth and carried the child for 9 months, gives them more rights and say so about the kid even tho they are not good mothers. It’s the little things thag matter to a child, brushing their teeth, making sire theh eat healthy, groom them, make sure they look presantable for schol teach them to be clean, reponsible so they have a better chance of being the best they can be. Yeah I understand thag maybe you work a lot but if u have an hour to fix yourself and do your make up, why not your kid. If u don’t like to look like shit why do you think your kids should . Be appreciative to your babydaddy or babymomma when u see they are good to you and your kids. This doesnt mean you have to agree with everything they do.
Dealing her ignorance, makes it so hard to be a good parent. It energy draining that everything turns into an argument and sometimes its an ongoing argument because she doesn’t know when to stop even tho we go In circles for hours and nothing get solved. I’m Damned if get off then phone becuase I don’t want to argue and am damned If I don’t get off because its an ongoing argument with no end. Am committed to being the best parent I can be and doing my best to try and give my child a great chance in life. My worst fear is her turning out to be like her mom. At least in the aspect of being lazy, dirty, unresponsible, ignorant, and selfish.
March 3, 2013 at 1:42 pm
Idk what to do about my baby mama drama, we dated a mth and i broke up with her due to her bi polar attitude, then 2 weeks later she is prego, i tried doin the right thing and step up but she thought just cuz she was prego that meant she could boss me around and have control over me, now im not a party person nor go out alot, i hardly drink and do no drugs nor smoke, her attitude got worse over the nxt 3 mths, i went to dr appts and helped in any way i could at the same time tryin to work on a relationship with her, things got worse and i called her a bitch, and to quit holdin the baby over my head, and we havnt gotten along since. She shut me out of the pregnancy at 4 mths and ignored me, when it was time for the baby to be born i asked where she was gonna be born at, she ignored me again. im not on birth certificate yet the lil angel i call my daughter looks like me and ive seen her prob 10 times in 6 mths cuz baby mama isjust so unbeliavable its unreal i make plans to see her and baby mama brings something up to change plans or starts an argument and denies that i can see her, i am past point of mad and just wanna be in my daughters life and see her everyday but i dont wanna be with her mother, she is very hard to get along with, unless i let her bully me and i cant allow that, i buy diapers food clothes and toys for my daughyer, yet baby mama demands child support, but wont let me see my daughter unless shes present, im not even on birth certificate, baby doesnt have my last name either, attorney general said a dna test has to be done before i can put my self on child support, then she will be forced to let me see the baby, i have cussed her out a cpl times cuz im so mad that she is doing this whrn i am a good guy and tryin ti be a good father, but i am not the person to kiss ass, and if i dont treat her like she walks on water, shes just a straight up bitch, at one point she said if i deposit money in her account i cant see my daughyer, all this is very hard and breaks my heart cuz i love that baby so much and just wanna be a good father. Some advice would be great help.
March 8, 2013 at 9:57 pm
Honeatly this is why I strive to have only one babymomma..even tho we seperated for 2 ys and durring that time I subconsciously changed for her and she ended up geting prego by someone elts…im honestly lucky she wants no part of of his life and ran to me about it…even tho she claims she hatez my guts but still gos out her way to see my daughter… with her keeping the biological father out the picture this enables me to test my love ,manliness , and dedication to her by raising this kid as my blood….but I am confused guys…check it….she met me…loved me and I wanted to get her prego because I know for a fact she the one…but….I ended up catching a addiction to crystal meth…so then she lied and said she gonna abort it and we seperated for a month and I beleived her…well I did some lightwaight stalker stuff and found her and she had a belly she gave me another chance…but sience I was stiill on meth … I did more then neglect and abuse her..she gave me countless chances and as every adict we say we quit but lie to them and myself…so she left when I had to do to do time for this lil violation…when I got out she was goast and I did somemore stalker status stuff and found her at hospital withanother guy…I was devistated…I backslid but bounc3d back just to backslide again…then I found alil structure playing house with a girl who had 3 kids and three babydaddys….she used to and I noticed the kids let alone myself get neglected…I soon wnt back to jail and got oot and stayed clean eversienc but I missed thoes kids so I went back risking my addiction…but I didnt use…then my babymomma comes in my life and out of respect I left her and put full atfenfion on bm and baby…but bm still hate me but I work thru it because u dont relize what u have untill its gone and I did…so I do anything for family…then…surprise…she prego…and not mine….she ended up replaying same exact sinerio..found dude..loved him…he did drugs …she left him…reunited with me…and we are willing to work this out…so..I want to raise both of these because I love all k8ds expecially if its by the woman I know is for me…but if we tell biological father tgen if hes off that shit then. . Ewww…shit can get hectic….but I was in his shoes and I would need to know…but at the same tim3 it could confuse and accedently neglect the kid let alobe confuse him…and for u ladiez out there…if i changed and she see I change and ontop of that im willing to take this child as myown because not only is my love real for her…but im striving to live out my dream regardles if biological or not…to have a family…and I hella love kids…all that keeps me motivated to do right instead of wrong…kids keep ke away from the ghetto nightlife and introduce me to the morning park bond/raise life..but should he know or would it be best for later when everyone child and father understand…and is it still ok for my babymomma to still be mean…honeatly its ok becaus3 she prego…but what if she continues acting like this forever…shes a very beautiful, responsible, classy woman…but she can hold a sirious grudge…and one more thing…whats yall oppinion on putting on birthcirtificat fatger unknown on biological child just to get child suport wit biological father and mother still togeather…its to help financial problems….mind you…im extreemly motivated, loving, verybrandnew father whos biological father died befor I was born but was raised by my real dad who wasnt biological but consuderd blood..and he raised me and just recently died….erbz….
March 8, 2013 at 10:02 pm
boomtaper on March 8, 2013 at 9:56 pmHoneatly this is why I strive to have only one babymomma..even tho we seperated for 2 ys and durring that time I subconsciously changed for her and she ended up geting prego by someone elts…im honestly lucky she wants no part of of his life and ran to me about it…even tho she claims she hatez my guts but still gos out her way to see my daughter… with her keeping the biological father out the picture this enables me to test my love ,manliness , and dedication to her by raising this kid as my blood….but I am confused guys…check it….she met me…loved me and I wanted to get her prego because I know for a fact she the one…but….I ended up catching a addiction to crystal meth…so then she lied and said she gonna abort it and we seperated for a month and I beleived her…well I did some lightwaight stalker stuff and found her and she had a belly she gave me another chance…but sience I was stiill on meth … I did more then neglect and abuse her..she gave me countless chances and as every adict we say we quit but lie to them and myself…so she left when I had to do to do time for this lil violation…when I got out she was goast and I did somemore stalker status stuff and found her at hospital withanother guy…I was devistated…I backslid but bounc3d back just to backslide again…then I found alil structure playing house with a girl who had 3 kids and three babydaddys….she used to and I noticed the kids let alone myself get neglected…I soon wnt back to jail and got oot and stayed clean eversienc but I missed thoes kids so I went back risking my addiction…but I didnt use…then my babymomma comes in my life and out of respect I left her and put full atfenfion on bm and baby…but bm still hate me but I work thru it because u dont relize what u have untill its gone and I did…so I do anything for family…then…surprise…she prego…and not mine….she ended up replaying same exact sinerio..found dude..loved him…he did drugs …she left him…reunited with me…and we are willing to work this out…so..I want to raise both of these because I love all k8ds expecially if its by the woman I know is for me…but if we tell biological father tgen if hes off that shit then. . Ewww…shit can get hectic….but I was in his shoes and I would need to know…but at the same tim3 it could confuse and accedently neglect the kid let alobe confuse him…and for u ladiez out there…if i changed and she see I change and ontop of that im willing to take this child as myown because not only is my love real for her…but im striving to live out my dream regardles if biological or not…to have a family…and I hella love kids…all that keeps me motivated to do right instead of wrong…kids keep ke away from the ghetto nightlife and introduce me to the morning park bond/raise life..but should he know or would it be best for later when everyone child and father understand…and is it still ok for my babymomma to still be mean…honeatly its ok becaus3 she prego…but what if she continues acting like this forever…shes a very beautiful, responsible, classy woman…but she can hold a sirious grudge…and one more thing…whats yall oppinion on putting on birthcirtificat fatger unknown on biological child just to get child suport wit biological father and mother still togeather…its to help financial problems….mind you…im extreemly motivated, loving, verybrandnew father whos biological father died befor I was born but was raised by my real dad who wasnt biological but consuderd blood..and he raised me and just recently died….erbz…
March 19, 2013 at 3:58 pm
i have a son by a man who has two children by another woman from a previous relationship. i love my sons father very much but sometimes question if the relationship will last because his ex makes our life so difficult. he has the children 40% of the time and pays child support. the amount of support he pays leaves him with very little money to help support our son or contribute to the household. his ex is the disgusting! she collects child support from two different “baby daddy”, their sons ssi, food stamps, cash assistance, utility assistance and recieves help with clothing purchases. she does not work and her boyfriend who does not work lives with her. she sits on her ass and feels that she is entitled. my sons father is made out to be the bad guy because he isn’t happy about having to pay child support when she does nothing to support the kids. the kids are pay checks to her.
June 22, 2013 at 8:47 am
I’ll start off by saying my baby mamma is a strait up crazy bitch, and will do everything in her power to keep my 3 year old son from me, with the shit she’s pulling now she dont deserve to be a parent nor have the child, I can’t see my boy right now cuz shes saying I put my hands on him, she went to the cops and all now we are back in the courts, I’ll be the first to tell u I never layed hands on him nor will I ever he’s a 3 year old boy that loves to play and gets bursed up a little, she a crazy bitch lives with her mom with is also crazy and tells her what to do, im a damn good father my boy loves coming to my house and we have a blast now shes trying to rip up apart again, I’ll fight it out till the end, I have nothing to hide I just think it’s bull shit when baby mammas pull this crazy shit to make the dad look like some one he ain’t, can’t decribe how that make me fell as a person, baby mammas who pull shit like that, that ain’t even 1% tire should have their full time parnting right taking from them and full time cousdoy giving to the dad, i know it’s only a dream but still, its fucked up she’s doing, and what alot of babby mammas pit the days threw just so they ain’t got to deal with them, and alot of the time the baby daddy did nothing wrong and just wants a part in the kids life with out all the drama and bull shit, in most cases they are hurting the dad and the kid keeping them apart for a damn reason but for the fact the baby mamma dont want shit to do with u, im waiting on my court date so i can start seeing him again, in the end she will look like the crazy one,
July 31, 2013 at 7:07 pm
i have went through a lot of the replies on this page and love to see that this is exactly what i’m going through!,
first of all its nice to know i’m not alone.
Second and most important is the kid.
my daughter is 15 months i know for a fact that the dad is an important part of a girls life. I understand why these so called women do this. i actually call them girls cause they are not grown up yet. they have not experienced life and are scarred to even be living. in my particular situation i have found that the girl is not intelligent enough to communicate or understand what happens when you a dont let the child see there dad.
it’s one rough road i’ve been on and i’ve only begun compared to some of you. i hope that i find a solution to seeing my daughter more and being in her life like i deserve to be. i have a house a car i pay my bills and i am a stand up man. im not addicted to anything and work everyday to see my daughter for one more time soon thankyou for this page!
September 3, 2013 at 11:07 am
My sons mother is a crazy bitch. Im not one to sugar code anything. I moved out of the house and broke off the relationship when my son was only 5 months old he is now almost 3. She has some anger issues and lashes out violently towards me. I consider myself a calm and laid back person so the drama doesn’t mesh well with me. She has hit me before, broke things and thrown things at me including the meal you might be sitting there eating. She is a white woman and I’m a black man so that doesn’t make matters any better especially if police show up. (Thank god that has never happened.)
Sometimes people get tired of constantly defending themselves and going thru drama when all they want is time with there child. Since I moved away I still pay all the bills in the house where her and my son live. She won’t work to help pay any bills. Its seems like she just wants to sit back and watch me suffer thru this situation. I would have put her out of the house years ago but she won’t let me get my son and I don’t want him to be in a messed up situation. She doesn’t have any where to go and doesn’t have friends or family to call on. What ever friends or family she does have seem to stay far away from her even her own children. I can only suspect that her acting out violently or weird behavior in the past has pushed them away. She uses my son as a pawn so I don’t put her out of the house. She won’t let me see my son sometimes because she uses him as a pawn like I said before.
I avoid confrontation and drama especially in front of our son. She will gladly lash out violently and tare up the house while my son sits there and cries his eyes out. This is something that burns me up inside. I know she doesn’t care about the house after all she doesn’t pay any bills and for nothing in it. Im trying to get my son out of this situation but its easier said than done. The only solution I have found is staying away but I love my son and want to spend time with him. I get him on weekends and every time I go to pick him up is like rolling the dice. (she might act crazy she might be cool you never know)
I know she had a rough childhood and has some anger issues but all I care about is my son and his welfare. When we were in a relationship I would always push her to get some form of help for her anger issues. She always made me feel like I was crazy for thinking she was crazy. One day I finally did get her to go to the hospital and if they checked her out and said she was fine I would leave her alone about it. We did go and they recommending she stay and be evaluated for a couple days. She lashed out violently trying to hit me and ran to try to escape the hospital. The police and security caught her out by the main road in front of the hospital and had to restrain her. They held her for a week at the physic ward and let her go. We weren’t married and she didn’t give the doctors permission to tell me anything so she came out and said she was fine. I didn’t believe thats was the case so I moved out when she came back home mostly for my own safety and so my son wouldn’t have to go thru the drama.
The only thing I can do is stay away until figure something out.
October 31, 2013 at 6:36 am
Still with my baby mama i love her so much but she is treating me like trash, any advise you have for me?
November 15, 2013 at 7:20 pm
Great post however I was wondering if you could write a litte more
on this subject? I’d be very grateful if you could elaborate a little bit more.
Many thanks!
November 16, 2013 at 10:05 pm
I’ve had time to read this and being someone who has been in situations like this and hv known men in situations involving hateful women or what hv u, my opinion is that fathers these days get very bad wraps, go to work, take care of the kids and hv a baby mama who doesn’t want u until your gone . Everything is 50/50 it is a give and take kind of thing and only one person is taking and not giving things can’t go very wrong . now a days men can’t even hv regular relationships with anyone BC of the crazy baby mamas, I mean the screams and scams don’t stop . I pray that single fathers get a better reputation soon and for ppl to open their eyes to they mothers and ask them “what roll have you played in this? BC your no saint “
December 5, 2013 at 4:27 pm
i feel the replies on this topic i 2 have baby mama drama. Done everything i can to and continue to but despite this still get negativity. I helped with rent, clothes diapers car repairs everything even stuff for her to show her the respect she “deserves” but yet get treated unequal because of the fact i do what needs to be done not only as a father but as a person and parent and its “recognized” by everyone including her fam (not that i wasnt doing it in the first place) So thats a big part of the reason shes bitter/spiteful and that were not together anymore even though i made it as clear as crystal this wasnt a white house pickett fence relationship since the beginning. So i applaud the real fathers/mothers for doing what needs to be done for the children i was in that boat but it never stops and that was the problem with my baby mama she wanted the world but didnt want to earn it and thats not because of “us” its literally not taking care of the kids, not wanting to work, and everything that goes along with it. Women i do respect you for what you do and what you have done to bear our children..our future.. but the selfishness attitude has got to go as well as the whole i gave birth to them aspect theyre mine because its not about you (not all of you) and its not about us its about our children and i have a right to be in our childrens life. Now im not perfect by any means i am that guy that looked in the mirror to see the selfishness and very proud of the fact that ive changed but to actually see it from the outside looking in is a scary sight because shes not wanting to change for herself or our children. so i not only pray for my children everyday i weep for them. thats all that i needed to say and get off my chest. now these famous lyrics i wil leave you with. Thank you for your time. Josh from 214
I look at Hailie, and I couldn’t picture leaving her side
Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I’d try
To make it work with her at least for Hailie’s sake
I maybe made some mistakes
But I’m only human, but I’m man enough to face them today
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April 15, 2014 at 6:57 am
i have a three year old son. which was out of weddlock. I’m 33 she is 25. we break up shortly after the baby was born. then she soon started seeing another guy. it has been nothing but trouble since the bf has came into the picture. Ive taking her to court twice over matters but came out in the negative. she is about to get married to this guy but still tries to make my life a living hell be using my son . just wondering if it will ever stop.
March 10, 2014 at 6:06 am
i have a baby mama too and she is crazy! she told me once ill teach your son how to hate you. What normal person says that? she calls me names and a use put down remarks. She also talked crapped about my deceased dad saying your dad died young of cancer you hopefully you will too. who does that? Ive been there for my son the moment he was born. Ive been trying to get close as possible to my son but she find ways to press my buttons and when i argue with her she gets crazy. like start throwing my things around or call the police just because i argue with her. why does she even call the police just because of an argument which she starts. she once told me she purposely makes me mad because she’s not happy. what does that mean because you had a bad day you have to take it all on me? Im an easy going guy but damn she just know how to hurt my feelings for ridiculous reasons. like she knows how important my family is but she says that your going to hang with your family to see a bitch? or like i recently told her i tried out yoga 3 times before and said how come you never told me this before you must be working out with a bitch. wow reallY? everything i tell her she manipulates it. she even gets mad about redbox rentals that I havnt mentioned about to her. is that really something to get mad about? yes Im sleeping with her but only because to be around my son as much as i can. so i take all the putdowns the verbal abuse just so i can see my son. she tells me all the time Im a dead beat dad and Im not a real man. but i try my best to be there as much as possible for my son because i love my 2 year old son so much. i tell her the reason why i don’t move inn with you is because of your behavior and it needs to stop. but she refuses. but then she says she loves me and i want us to be a family. but i told her that is not fair for him if its an abusive family. you and i need to change for his sake. but she is still the same getting mad at everything. it so frustrating. Im not even legally his dad because she didn’t put my name as the father in his birth certificate. i know he’s mine cause we both look almost identical. I’ve been fighting a battle and all she can do is laugh when i get mad because she swears at me and puts me down. Around her family she makes it look like she’s the victim. and make me look like Im the bad person. why??? i over heard her calling my son a little shit i said why the f… would you ever say that? cause he is bothering you getting your attention? i told her don’t ever let me hear you say that to him again. at times when she frustrated of his nagging i caught her spanking him in the corner not noticing i was looking. why is she spanking him if he just wanted her attention. this is what i go threw. this is only a fraction of what ive gone threw. excuse my grammar i was typing whatever came out of my mind that happened in the last year . ive known and been with her for 8 years . i never thought in my life time i would ever go threw this but i was wrong.
March 10, 2014 at 6:08 am
oh and who says if your not going to live with us i will find another man i will teach him to call him dad and you will never see him again. that is very hurtful. says the worst things.
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November 20, 2014 at 3:06 am
I understand the man’s reasoning as far as waiting until she is older. My husband and I have a daughter whom is about to be 2 years old. He has another daughter from a previous relationship who will soon be 6. His relationship with this woman was not official…. it was a 2 day relationship…. and it led to an unplanned baby. He was supportive of providing financial support to the child and also wanted to be involved in the child’s life. There was no child support order in place but he would provide the woman with a monthly check for the child’s needs and would visit the child occasionally every couple of months due to his job and through his grandparents because the woman was very hostile after he made it clear that he did not want any sort of relationship with her. Well later on after this I met him and we dated and eventually it grew into what we have now. I was aware he had a child and of the arrangements he had in meeting with the child. (He is a truck driver that was over-the-road at the time but now since we got married only drives locally in a different state from where the child lives). I decided I wanted to meet the mother and make sure she understood that I wanted to also try to be a part of the child’s life but not replace her. My husband agreed and I met her and she was friendly at first but then became very hostile towards me when she found out we were expecting a baby. She started going to facebook to say things about how my husband was a dead-beat father who didn’t care about his child. She placed a child support order, and thank god he saved the copies of the checks he sent her through his grandparent because she was trying to say he hadn’t helped financially since the birth of the child. Turns out he had to pay less than what he had been sending her before. But of course it was still tough on us as a couple to provide for ourselves after having to pay child support and bills and care for our own child. She became angrier that she had less money(this woman gets wellfare, food stamps…. etc. and has someone else claim the child for tax returns because she doesn’t work) Well she went as far as bringing our child to the problem and calling our child ugly and so on. We had enough of this woman and he decided he would only continue to provide financial support for the child and not be involved in her life. The woman had been telling the child that her father was worthless and that I was a devil and that our baby was an ugly little devil…. (He called his grandparents when they picked her up so he could talk to her and she would cuss at him and repeat what the mother said). For the sake of our well being as a family and our child it was the best we could do. We have no contact with the woman or the child and have made sure she cannot reach us or harass us. That child will grow up one day and have a life of her own and realize that she can one day also fall in a similar situation and choose to protect her family. I tried as best as I could to reason with this woman pleading she would stop harassing us. But at the end I had to take my husband’s side and realize that our child was also being targeted and it would eventually be harmful to her as well. And that woman will realize that she is only harming her daughter….
January 31, 2015 at 11:09 pm
Think its bullshit how these who
Woman get away with so much shit. I love my son now already have deal with a little woman can’t handle her ex moved on and does care about her anymore . Now she does answer my phone calls and talks mad shit about me in front on my son. And would love see more and inner act with him she keeps me away and tells me she wants her so call boyfrienTo adopted my son she must shit good shit because I’ll never sign my wrigrhts over dummy she is…
November 29, 2015 at 4:53 am
My son’s mother is the worst person i ever met! She has 3 kids by 3 different baby father’s her last baby father went to jail and was sentenced to 22 years. So this bitch stops paying her rent and bills to pay for a lawyer for this nigga!!! What kinda shit is that and now my son and his sisters are staying at her friends house and, when her other baby father was in jail within 8 month she had 4 different dudes living with her!! But the reason i haven’t got custody is because i never got to sign the birth certificate and some other stuff but im fighting for custody now. But compared to her all y’all dudes on here got it made but honestly my opinion is if you got a crazy bm you just gotta deal with it.
March 23, 2016 at 9:13 pm
Man you slid down a blade and landed in a alcohol river…. That’s all I can say…..Give it to (Jesus)🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
March 23, 2016 at 9:04 pm
I figure like this you’ve should taken notes,before pushing on a buff body or a thick butt… Blame it on the (devil) that’s all it is…. Just saying I’m dealin with baby mama drama 2, I have 2 kids (9)10 girl and boy…. Baby mama cheating in marriage (adultry) so she put the people in my life… CS I’m not 1st or last congrats…. But I put it in God hands and now I’m bless and married again, because the grace of God…. Remember folks let it go everything happens for a reason god bless I’m out✌🏾️✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾
June 8, 2016 at 6:16 pm
I wouldn’t wait for the kid to get older, my uncles “baby momma” kept his daughter away and he thought it would be a good idea not to make waves and fight for his kid. So he decided to wait til she was old enough to make her own decisions and right before his daughter turned 18 she was killed by a drunk driver. We were surprisingly invited to the funeral but we were unsurprisingly ran out as soon as we walked to the casket by….you guessed it his baby momma. This is an extreme example of crazy women but please, if you want to be around your kid then fight to be around. You never now what could happen.
September 18, 2016 at 10:31 am
How u deal with a one night standbabymomma when she want replied but always want money tell me.
November 20, 2016 at 9:29 am
The mother of my 5 month old daughter and I will likely never see eye to eye. I tried my best to salvage the relationship, but ended up making things worse. She got a restraining order against when she was about 7 months pregnant. I never hit her. I have gotten really angry though. Since then everything I do is wrong and she justfies treating me like dog poo because of mistakes I made in the past. She was guilty of the same things. Her sense of entitlement for being the baby momma has caused me turn my back. I wish my daughter knew me, but doesn’t. My work schedule and her restraining order doesn’t allow much time to bond with my baby. I wish I knew how to keep from going to court. My advise is that family structure is important and you are obligated as a man to keep it together, if that is impossible, as in my case, take the battle to court. Being in your child’s life is your responsibility regardless of what the mother does to hinder that. Pay your support and fight for how ever long it takes to be in your child life.
March 17, 2017 at 8:57 pm
I was in a relationship with my babby momma for over 11 years. I know for a fact that there is no relationship in this world that is 100% perfect, we have our ups and downs, right? So she decided to go to mexico to “supposedly” visit her aunt, but little that i no she went to go visit “the love of her life” and get married, reason why is because i didnt want to marry her in the begining. Long story short, i found out,she left that dude, she met his cousin, i didnt no about this guy until a couple of weeks ago, i quit my job to be with her in t.j. and build a home and be together with my son, so we argue about her beign with this low life punk, he comes to the house she kicks me out and i almost get arrested in t.j. they took everything i had on me, i go back to the house and told her what happened, and ask her if she had any money for gas so i can get out of t.j. she sais no but that i can stay here, keep this in mind that this piece of shit is there with my son in my bed and am in my car in the front yard. Tell me what kind of low down dirty whore does these. Now am back in noho with my mom again and my son. Happly ever after, right, nah, now comes the good part, child custody b.s.
August 11, 2018 at 11:21 am
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September 4, 2018 at 8:13 am
Truthfully. I feel this is an on going problem. As men we have a natural need to fix what’s broken and make it whole to the best of our ability. But sadly when dealing with women. We can never fix the problems we reasonably don’t understand. Not to say that we are incapable but that women have to learn to adjust to changes and move forward as well. The I don’t need a man for nothing complex is a useless concept. Because most of the women that preach that are the main ones seeking child support.
July 7, 2019 at 5:13 pm
Thank you. And I am a woman. Im sick of the bs. I have been through the children etc but never kept up any drama. I did not feel it was my place to INTERRUPT my childrens’ relationship with their father even if we didnt work out and he got into another relationship. I was too busy raising children and got into my OWN relationship which resulted in marriage. I had no intent or desire to hurt my ex. I simply wanted him to care for his children emotionally and physically.
October 13, 2018 at 11:20 pm
american women suck… that is all…
July 7, 2019 at 5:10 pm
My nephew is going through this and this woman is a complete viper. I wish I could talk to you! I am sick of the remedy being “tell the man to control it.” Or “the man needs to look at himself.” Frankly some women are evil deadbeats. Man paying child support (signed himself up for it), had to sue for visitation and she is now being sued again for CONTEMPT. So….how now would him looking at himself change HER behavior?? So annoying. Women can be evil and when they are, lets call a spade a spade.
August 9, 2019 at 3:15 pm
Well I have never took the time to comment of pages. My store is a really difficult one as it is my reality. I have two baby mama’s. My first baby was my best friend till she got pregnant and became someone else till she gave birth and never wanted me to come for the labour. My son was born Dec 15th 2016, and I never saw my son till 31st of Dec 2016 when I said to myself I do not have to believe the stories my baby mama was telling me to keep me away. I went and I saw my baby looking like me, then my baby mama called me aside when she saw I was about to unleash our story to her elder sister who was around. She said the sweetest thing to me that day, that we need to stop fighting and focus on the child since he is here, then I smiled and helped carried my son to the car as there were about going out.
After my visit there, she changed becoming the same horrible baby mama she has been. To cut her story short, she told her family I was just a friend and the baby father is no where to be found till I came again after six month not seeing my son,that was when I told the family I am the father and have being trying all I can to be a responsible father but to no avail as my baby mama seem to be a witch. She poisoned me to her family telling them I am a dangerous man. I have not seen my baby after he became 1 and now he is 2years and 8 months.
Now the story of my second baby mama: I was going through pain and all in my life not being able to see and spend time with my first son for months and as time passes by, I grew more in hurt and every thought is filled with pain in my life till her come girl who was a friend that understand what I was going through, she acted like she shared my pain and wished she could do something to make me happy again. We started spending time with each other as she was the only girl in my life at that time in my life. We shared reasonable times and talks. I was going to relocate to another state just to find a new life for myself, then I asked my new girlfriend to come have a drink with me somewhere, that was when I told her I am planning to relocated, she busted in tears crying that I should not leave her as she is pregnant with my child, I was shocked. That made me stayed around and when she became a bit heavy, her attitude changed to someone else no more respectful nor nice with words. Then one day she said she was going to run away with the pregnancy as she knows I love my first son and kids, that really hurt me to my soul, thinking of a second woman having such mentality while pregnant. She gave birth to my second son whom I have always been there for even till date. My second baby mama does not want me to spend time with my son, as she do all she can to keep me away from son while I am busy still being responsible. Some times I want to just forget about everything and everyone but I think of myself being an innocent kid abandoned by the father due to the ignorant, selfishness and stupidity of the mother. Now I am living a temptation filled life dealing with two witches in my life as baby mama’s. Blood is ticker than water and I can’t stop loving my kids even if their mom are acting upon stupidity that kills the innocent future.
March 4, 2021 at 11:39 pm
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BABY MAMAS MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR GOOD FATHERS | The Rebirth
April 8, 2021 at 8:50 am
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BABY MAMAS MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR GOOD FATHERS | The Rebirth